The Russian Vampire
by MissCloud
Summary: It is time for vampire Kai to settle down with the one he loves. But when he goes to his victim's... uhm, lover's house, there is a surprise waiting for him. Kai x ? oneshot, lemon, happy halloween!


ROAR!

Wow I'm so scary! Happy Halloween everyone! :) This is just a silly little story I wrote for halloween, I might be a bit late posting but oh well! **Warnings:**

**SWEARING, LEMON** (although not a very good one! well, not very good one_**s**_ :P)

_Italics_= Thinking

I hope you like! And I couldn't come up with a better title :P

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**The Russian Vampire**

The wind blew through Kai's hair and lots of little strands separated and dissolved into the air. It was not yet quite midnight, although the sky was perfect for his little outing- it was pitch black, filled with tiny little stars, and in his opinion really set the mood. The mood for sexy blood shed.

He stood tall on the roof of his target, his long, black cape draping back and his unusual white scarf rattling so ferociously it was expected to loosen around his neck pretty soon. Hands in pockets, he watched over the quiet town below silently.

"Ahem, master-" Kai didn't turn around, but knew who it was immediately.

"Greetings, Batman," He replied coldly.

"Uhm, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me that, master," This infuriated Kai. The Russian villain spun around, surprising his companion so much he flew back slightly. Long, perfect-white fangs and dark, blood-red eyes, Kai lived up to everything the myth of him was supposed to look like- except he wasn't a myth. He really was a vampire, and tonight was the night he'd gain a willing partner for life.

"I'll call you whatever I like, until you start proving yourself," Kai spat between his teeth. Unfortunately for the little bat, he was once again the victim of Kai's spray that came from the slur of his mouth.

The bat actually didn't have a name of his own, because he was an orphaned bat that Kai had adopted. Kai always said when he proved himself worthy, he would give him a proper name, and that's what he had to live on everyday. The hope of gaining himself an identity was all he lived for. And to serve Kai. "I-I've just come to tell you the time is now, master Kai."

Kai looked brighter. "Ah, good. Time I got me some booty, I see? You know, I've set my sights on this very special person for some time..."

The bat wanted to let out a loud moan, but didn't. Here came one of Kai's amazing, drawling speeches again.

"...I can't believe the time has finally come. I've waited for so long for this- that is what real true love is. Those silly people down there don't have a clue. They think they love their girlfriends, boyfriends... but do they know the real meaning of love? The beauty of blood shed, the passion of dominatrix, the true feeling of pleasure..."

"Uhm, master..."

"...do they realize how awesome they could have it? Soft porn would be like a constant delight, as that can only last for so long..."

"Master?"

He wiped the drool from his chin.

"MASTER!"

"...What!?" Kai yelled. "How dare you interrupt my erotic time!"

"You won't get any erotic time if you don't move now! It's past midnight, and you only have until half past to drain otherwise you'll have to wait until next year for it to work. And if you go in acting like a moron you'll never be taken seriously."

"...Who said I'm going to go in acting like a moron?" Kai snorted in laughter. "Really Batfink, do you think_ I _won't be taken seriously? My charm will work like a... charm... yes. So stop doubting me you little bat. Little brat. Whatever."

The bat sighed. "Yes, master. Sorry."

"Good, right.. in I go..." Kai swallowed and brushed back his cape coolly before jumping down onto the window ledge as swift and quiet as a mouse. He lurched around the corner of the window and peered in- and suddenly he felt air leave his throat fast, his heart thundering against his chest and swung back around the corner.

The bat flew down to see him. "What's wrong with you!? Do you want to find a soul mate to share your wonderful life with or not?"

Kai was breathing heavily and without talking, pointed at the window for the bat to look in. Obeying, although a little sceptical, he had a peep around the corner. His eyes widened. "I... see."

"Now what!?" Kai cried, turning red. "My chosen one is currently making love with another! And.. and..." Kai closed his eyes, and slowly peeked through the window again. The bed was rocking madly, and he could see his lover's face scrunch up, ready for the big climax. It was almost too hot to watch, as it seemed like a millions legs were thrown up into the air.

Kai squealed and hid his head around again.

"Auighhhh..." He groaned, now with dribble wandering down his chin, completely infatuated with the scene.

The bat screwed up his face. "Ew, master. What the hell does 'auighhhh' mean? Is that how you pull? Well, good luck."

Kai flapped out his hand in vain to hit the bat but missed. "Shut up. I will do it. I'd like to see you do better when the one I have dreamt about having as my lover for years is having passionate sex with another sexy individual. What am I to do now? It would mean having to kill the gooseberry, which would mean the blood shed of another sexy person... which is a shame. But, what has to be done..."

"Exactly. Come on, you only have twenty minutes to get this done now. In case your highness has forgotten, you go in there, kill the interferer, suck the blood of your lover, then make love. Then... the one you have sought for so long will be yours forever. The one currently enduring sexual activity with your lover will be forgotten about, and the only eyes your lover will have will be for you, and you only," The bat reassured.

Kai sniffed, a slight tear in the corner of his eye. "You make it sound so easy, batty. But alas; you are correct. I must fulfill my needs now. I don't think I'll be able to wait another year. I've had one too many erections that have had to be dealt with by myself... and you. I need someone I can love to do it for me, and that person is right-"

"Master! You're babbling, again! Now get in there!"

"Yes! Of course!" Kai shook his head to himself. He had to pull himself together if he was going to do this properly. In one go, he slipped gently around the corner again and kept his eyes firmly on the bed as he slid the window open quickly, leapt inside then closed it as silent as possible.

For a moment he stood there, frozen, realizing the bed had stopped rocking and lay there, half covered by a see-through curtain, was two naked bodies, as still as the air. Not only that, but voices were coming from there, too.

"Best fuck I've had in ages," One spoke.

A giggle came from the one that made Kai's heart thud. "Best fuck I've _ever_ had."

Kai snorted to himself. _Hm. Won't be saying that soon. I shall be the best and only fuck to ever grace that god ever again._

"Heh. Best fuck and only fuck you'll ever get will be from me."

Kai could feel his blood boiling. Whoever this stealing-arse hole was, was going to get it bad. He originally was going to make the death quick and painless, but now 'slaughter' sprung to mind. There was a slight tap at the window and frantically Kai looked around-

The bat was looking serious and pointing at his wrist, suggesting a watch, and that time was running out.

Kai bit his bottom lip, then realized it was a bad move. His sharp teeth dug right into it, so much he started to bleed. Suppressing a loud, 'ow' instead he mouthed 'bastard' and sulked and sucked on his lip while cursing the two in the bed together. It would take him a while to get over the fact his lover had slept with someone else, but he knew in time, after the punishment of long, hard slaved dominatrix, he'd forgive eventually.

"Hm, you're making me hard again, Ray."

The Russian vampire blinked. _So... the intruder is called Ray, huh? Interesting._

Ray chuckled. "Do you want another go?"

Kai felt his heart stop. For a second.

"Yes please, you big boy!"

Kai wanted to cry. Actually cry, and never stop until he had the one he wanted in his arms. _Noooo! You're supposed to say 'No, I don't want another go, I'm waiting for the right person to come along!' And that's me! Arghh! This can't be happening! It is my destiny to be with him! Not him, not anyone else, me! I am the only one he wants, he is the only one I want, but this Ray is totally getting in the way the big meanie! _

The on-looking bat from outside slapped himself in pity. What an idiot. As the two in the bed got at it again, Kai was just stood there looking sorry for himself, probably rambling again in his head, and when that happened it usually never stopped for hours until he was interrupted.

_I can't believe this. What about everything I had planned for us? The trips to the beach, Whitby to visit my ancestor, our massive killing sprees, and of course all those nights alone without bat for sexy love making. Well, maybe some nights we could include bat so the little fellow didn't feel left out, but without you.. it would be a disaster... and..._

Suddenly something flew against the window. It was quite loud, and Kai feared it may have disturbed the two horny beasts in the bed, but thankfully they were too indulged in kissing and rolling about. Bat was waving at him through the window, urging him to press on.

Kai nodded and understood, leaving the bat sighing pityingly again. Slowly, the love-sick vampire inched towards the bed, where the two had finally began hotting things up a little more intensely...

"Oh god, yes!" Ray cried, who was on top of his lover, moving in the same, sweaty direction. He watched in delight at his face as it screwed up uncontrollably, already edging towards coming. Hands were entwined all across their naked bodies, sweat sickling gently across their forms.

"Nuh-" Below Ray, the oblivious boy could feel himself coming, all alerts in his head flashing in pleasure, the slow build up finally coming to an end when he called, "RAY!"

Ray's long, beautiful hair hung against his face below and watching his lover endure the intense pleasure caused him to rocket into him.

"OH GOD, TYSON!"

After settling down, the two came to a stop and Ray collapsed over his lover's body, breathing heavy.

Tyson laughed. "Second best fuck I've ever had."

Ray chuckled and for a few seconds, the room slowed back into silence.

"Auighhhh."

"...........Who the hell was that?" Asked Tyson.

Ray rolled off Tyson and sat up, staring around the room. "It definitely wasn't m-" Then, in the corner of the room pretty close to the bed, Ray spotted a weird-looking man wearing a long, black cape with dark red eyes and distinctive pointy teeth.

Kai stared. Then put his hand up and waved nervously. "Heh. Hi."

"WOA!" Ray cried and jumped up from the bed, rolled off on the other side then pointed frantically. "We have a pervert stalker!" Tyson's eyes widened when he saw the sinister looking man stood in the corner, and raised his eyebrows, undecided whether he was a threat or not. He sure looked strange, but he didn't look at all harmful- in fact he looked rather embarrassed.

"I-I'm not a pervert!" Kai defended.

Tyson joined Ray on the other side of the bed. "Ew, has this guy just watched us have sex?" Kai sniffed. He didn't think hearing those words would hit him so hard, but especially because they had come from the man he'd loved for ages, it didn't feel good, at all. He almost looked ashamed.

"Jesus... weirdo..." Ray looked ponderous. Then he clicked his fingers. "Wait a second! You're... you're..." He pointed and gaped, his face slowly turning pink.

"Yeah, what?" Kai asked, finding his composure again. _Here we go. Yes, that's right. Fear me bitch. I'm the legendary vampire of Japan, who is not Japanese, but Russian._

"Y-You're.... you're........."

"Oh, for-" Tyson pushed Ray out of the way and took over his place and pointed at Kai. "You're the caped crusader!"

Kai looked blank. "Who?"

"Haha. He means Batman," Ray sniggered, rubbing his fist against Tyson's head.

"What!?" Kai cried. Suddenly there was screechy, startling laughter coming from outside. Kai narrowed his eyes. It was the bat, laughing his head off. "Yes, all right you bastard bat, he called me Batman, woopty-fucking-doo! Now shut your face before I cut off your tiny penis."

Funnily enough, the laughing stopped after that.

Tyson and Ray watched on at the madness. Then it hit Ray, realizing just _who _this man really was- his giant, golden eyes rose open and he stepped back fearfully, hand wide-spread. "N-no way... Tyson, get back!"

"Why?" Asked Tyson, blinking. He took a good, long stare at the man who looked slightly... deluded. He was staring back quite weirdly, as though he wanted to pounce on him and kiss him or something. His dark red-blood eyes were the colour of a dark, hidden lust, and it showed right through his eyes. It was funny he had quite large fangs, too... _Wait... FANGS!?_

"YOU'RE COUNT DRACULA!" Tyson suddenly screeched and fell onto his backside. Although he couldn't quite remember Dracula ever wearing a white scarf.

"Uhm, just a vampire, actually," Kai corrected. _Oooh, sexy as well as a clever clogs. I like. _He licked his lips. "I am the great legendary Russian blood-sucker of Japan. My awesomeness will blow your brains out. Literally."

"Oh.. my GOD!" Ray cried, cowering away.

"And, I believe you-" Kai pointed at Ray, his dominant nature showing already. "Have committed a sin that I can never forgive."

"No... NO! Whatever I did I didn't do it!" Ray cried, blocking his face.

"Uh, yes you did, I've just watched you."

Ray grabbed a hold of Tyson and flung him in front of him. "Hey!" Tyson cried.

"He's the one you want! Not me!"

"Oh, thanks a lot."

Kai chuckled. "Indeed, you are correct. He is the one I want. But you've already had him, so you must be disposed of quickly."

"Master!" The bat cried from the window. "You have one minute to drain! Hurry!"

"I see. Thank you, Robin," Kai replied formerly.

"...Do I look like a robin to you?"

"No, no please!" Ray begged, hiding behind Tyson. Kai began to walk towards him much to his dismay. "No, look, look!" He fell to the floor. "Look see, I'm already dead! I'm dead I tell you! Deeeaaaddd!"

"Idiot," Kai sighed, and turned to Tyson, who was still naked. Tyson looked slightly worried when Kai reached out and took his hand in his, ignoring the pathetic cowers coming from Ray. "Tyson, I'm making you aware now that my love for you has always been justified by me. I must admit, you're not usually the type I'd go for, but I couldn't resist those dark blue locks of yours, and those dark, sexy eyes. I want you to know my heart is yours, for now, and forever."

Tyson looked gormless. ".....Wha?"

A gasp left Tyson's mouth when without notice, Kai leant down and sunk his teeth into the boy's neck, pushing him against the bed as he did. The pain tingled for only a few seconds, but as soon as the flow of his loose blood began to be sucked into the mouth of the vampire, it started to feel quite settling and after a while, he became relaxed into it.

"Uh.. oh yeah.." Kai closed his eyes and sounded like he was having multiple orgasms as he sucked away, draining the blood from his lover's throat. It felt so great. His needs were finally being filled, and it was even better than anticipated. It pleased him to see Tyson had finally stopped kicking around in pain and was even drawing him closer, moving his neck to the side for better access.

The once clean-white sheets became blood-stained and wet from sweat. The bat smiled and watched on, so happy his master had finally found the happy ending he had always wanted. And it wasn't long before the two of them were moving together, Kai inside Tyson, leading the way as the dominant one.

"Mmm," Tyson groaned as Kai licked him dry, then began on the rest of his body, sucking the sweat from his skin whilst enjoying the movement.

Then the Russian licked his skin with long strides and riddled his fingers through Tyson's hair, the pleasure brewing between their bodies so overwhelming.

For a few minutes, the two remained in deep satisfaction.

Tyson happily grabbed Kai's thighs and began to thrust harder. So hard that Kai came, and his warmness glued inside Tyson. "MERCY!"

Tyson blinked. ..._Mercy? ... WOA, SHIT- _And before he knew it, he reached a climatic end.

"Phew..." Kai gasped, and collapsed on top of Tyson. What a way to end a tiring day. It was like the sunset ending he had always dreamed of. After a few minutes, they both got up and kissed for a few seconds before making a move.

"Let's go home, my love," Kai smiled and flung his cape around Tyson's naked body, his arm around his shoulder. Tyson grinned and they headed off together.

"Uhm, master..." The bat coughed. "What about the ex-lover?"

Kai and Tyson looked around at the lifeless body of Ray.

"I'm dead!"

Kai smiled. "See, he's dead. Actually, as seen as he's dead, you may have his identity, bat- your name is now Ray."

"Huh!?"

Kai grinned. "Congratulations."

Bat smiled happily- it was happy endings all around. He finally got the name he had so badly wanted. "Yay! Master, I love you!"

"Steady on, there."

And so, Kai, Ray and Tyson flew home together through the midnight sky, the Russian vampire knowing exactly the first thing he and Tyson were going to do when they got home. Bring on the whips and corsets!

**The End**

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As you may or may not have guessed, I do have a fascination with Batman... xD And Spider-Man, come to that. Anyway, as silly as it was, please tell me what you thought! ;)


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